Bob, I know you’s a little upset but I don’t think you should poke at it like that.
I know what I’m doing.
All evidence to the contrary, Bob.
I’m good with animals.
Don’t want to sound like a broken record here, Bob.
It’s probably more scared of us than we are of it.
Certainly hides it well.
If we can just get it onto its back, its legs probably aren’t limber enough to balance quickly… and if we can get it to chomp down on a half dozen watermelons, and lash down its tail, and maybe wrap some burlap around those claws–
Right behind, ya, Bob.
And maybe some tranquilizers can get it to stop hissing–
Sure thing, Bob. Just one question?
How you gonna do all that with just the one remaining limb?
Don’t right know, Bob. Don’t right know.
Jenny’s meta-editorial note: Amateurs.