Hey, Bob?
Yes, Larry?
Want to see a dancing hamster?
Not particularly.
How about a cat who wants cheeseburgers? A list of the six craziest pirates from fanfiction movies? A pirated copy of Barefoot in the Park? A recipe for blueberry pie?
I have a recipe for blueberry pie.
Yeah but this pie is made with common household ingredients.
As are most pies.
Yeah but this one has received 3 and a half stars from welessthanthreepies.com
My pie won the blue ribbon at the state fair. It beat out national winners and Betty Crocker and a Martha Stewart robot. My pie is the best pie. It is the Plato cave of pies.
Yeah but this comes recommended from AppleAnnieoneone_1984#LasVegas.
And how do I know AppleAnnieoneone_1984#LasVegas’s pie making qualifications render her the expert of my peculiar tastes and blueberry preferences? How do I know AppleAnnieoneone_1984#LasVegas isn’t just someone’s grandmother with a fancy rotary phone who painstakingly typed out this recipe in binary code out of a deep seated desire to impress her high school’s prom king knowing that he has since lost his sense of smell and couldn’t taste the difference between blueberry, huckleberry and freshly mown grass. I have tested my pie recipe under the most extreme pie tasting conditions. I have made children weep with the wafting aroma of my flaky crust and cerulean filling.
Yeah but–
Larry?
Yes, Bob?
You do know that blueberries aren’t in season anymore, right?
Sigh. The thresher didn’t look thrilled by the prospect of printing it out anyway.
after ever after 