We Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled Non-Rhyming Poetic Detour for a Con comma Dragon

If all goes well, by the time this post goes live I will be on I-64 heading East towards Atlanta.  Actually, heading East towards Indiana, then hanging south on I-24 towards Atlanta Nashville and then East towards… Chattanooga?  And South Southeast on I-75 to Atlanta.

For Dragon*Con: the most spectacley of spectacley cons save maybe Comic*Con and WorldCon and maybe ReaderCon if you’re judging by the author’s track and–okay.  It’s a big con.  A HUGE con.  There will be many Pricess Leias and Superheros and Elves.  There will be obscure anime characters I don’t recognize because I don’t watch anime, and there will be Bellatrix and Snape and Tom Felton.  Leonard Nimoy will be there, and Captain Shatner and Wil Wheaton–though probably not in his Star Trek capacity but more of his ‘God of the Nerds’ capacity.  And the reigning empress of all that is holy and geeky and smart: Felicia Day.

I totally have a girl crush on her, guys.  Like, for serious.

Comic artists will attend and other artists and fans–many many fans–and occasionally a writer will show up too.  Which brings to my great sadness: Dragon*Con is not a con for authors.  It’s not a con that dislikes and/or is unfriendly to authors: Eugie Foster is wonderful and brilliant and I believe heavily involved in the planning, it’s just that Dragon*Con is more of a ‘Go and see’ con rather than a ‘Go and be with your folk’ con.  So while some of my friends in the writing world will be there, it’s more a function of geography than can’t-miss literary panels.

But there will be some good panels: Ann and Jeff Vandermeer will talk about weird things and strange things and story things.  Princess Alethea’s Magical Traveling Three Ring Sideshow of Awesome Entertainment and Poi (that might not be the real title) will feature readings and dancers and singers, oh my!

Poi, as you may not know, involves convoluted and complicated movements with weights.  Heavy weights.  And as my mind started to wander I thought: hmm.  The poi performer is a doctor (the same doctor who will be participating in guerrilla style diagnosis and treatment of your writerly issues with me) who probably comes into contact with all sorts of diseases in her daily life.  What if in handling the Poi weights she transfers some heretofore uknown mutation of the common epileptic virus (which doesn’t exist, but wouldn’t it be awful if it did?) and the weight string deteriorates due to increased humidity in the Georiga air and the weight flies through the air brushing against at least three people who then develop raging Zombie flu disorder immuno deficiency and it spreads like wildfire, only even WORSE than wildfire–marsh fire in a desert with unusually high oxygen concentrations and I, because I am smart, have my zombie bag with me but I need to contact someone!

Whom should I contact?

Listed in my address book right now are: The United Nations (because there are some serious S.S. Lotus personal jurisdiction issues with this scenario), the CDC, the WHO, Army National Guard, the Coast Guard (save the fishes!), Atlanta Police Department, Poison Control, Georgia Emergency Management Agency, Felica Day (she should know FIRST of all the people as she is our queen!),  The Doctor (the doctor this time, with a bow-tie), Battlestar Galactica…

Am I missing anyone/anything?

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