To: PhillyDDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: Ok Cupid Thinks You’re Hot!!!
😉
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: New Message
Hi. I’m O.C. But not the California O.C. I don’t have a coastline and large, vapid population of freakishly tanned teenagers. Lol.
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: New Message
Hi. Did you get my note? I think you did because I saw you were online after I sent it so you must have checked your mail. Or maybe you were only online accidentally–like it’s set as your home page and you opened your browser and it went there but you weren’t actually online or anything. Checking your messages. As you do.
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: New Message
I saw you changed your profile. You no longer have the cat? Did he die? I’m so sorry. If you send me your address I can order some flowers on 1-800-flowers.com. Did you know there was a big trademark case about that company? I bet you did. You’re so smart.
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: No, the cat did not die
Please stop sending animal topiaries
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: Please stop sending
philharmonic orchestras
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: Please stop sending
exponential quantities of the Bronx zoo
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: Please stop sending
my childhood birthdays in increasing order of the enjoyment experienced
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: Please stop sending
I’ve moved.
To: Ok Cupid
From: Philly DDS
Subject: Please stop sending
I’ve moved again.
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: I hear fruit is a good way to apologize, but… you know
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: Come back, I’m sorry…
Orange?
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: Knock knock
Banana
To: Philly DDS
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: It’s okay. I can take it
To: NOLAGrrrl
From: Ok Cupid
Subject: Ok Cupid thinks you’re okay…
: |
after ever after 