Editor’s Note: Ms. Friedman does not usually write poetry, but she showed me this a while ago and I told her to send it off immediately. When I heard she hadn’t placed it anywhere, I begged and pleaded and offered her my first born time traveling neutrino if she would let me publish it. You’re welcome.
Seven Standpoints From Which to Defend Your Sandwich From a Hungry Alien
By D. T. Friedman
Physiological
In your strange stomach,
This delicious pastrami
May well be poison.
Cultural
If I share with you,
You must then share in return.
I don’t want any.
Judgmental
Thousands of lightyears
And you didn’t pack a lunch?
Plan your trips better.
Psychological
Like feeding a duck,
The dangers of imprinting
Concern me deeply.
Anatomical
How do you propose
To partake of my small lunch
When you have no mouth?
Physical
This would stay in you;
Leaving with it would alter
The mass of my world.
Juvenile
You must have been told
Human spit is full of germs.
I licked my sandwich.
after ever after 
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I enjoyed very much. =) The physical standpoint reminded me of one of Douglas Adams’ random footnotes about the planet it was vitally important to keep receipts from all bathroom visits. Psychological was also choice, but my favorite is Juvenile. =)
So glad you liked it! And Juvenile is my favorite as well 🙂
Delightful as ever, D.T.!
This is so cute… Really fun!
~ Bethany
Lovely, judgmental reminds me of my mother…