The Despondent Toaster

Things a toaster is not:

A cylon.

A licensed physic–

No seriously.  Toasters are not cylons.  Cylons are not toasters.  Things that a cylon can do:

Formulate, prepare for, and execute a plan to infiltrate the incredibly complex security systems providing nuclear defense for the 12 colonies.

Destroy 99.9% of humanity in a matter of hours.

Fly space ships.

Shoot lasers from their eyes (maybe)

Things a toaster can do:

Burn your toast.

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