Terra Nova: The Episode of Interrupted Relations

I’m still recovering from the strep plague of doom so rather than writing a canon post tonight, I’m going to catch up on my review of Jurassic Park.

Oh I’m sorry, I meant Terra Nova.

No I’m sorry, I really meant Jurassic Park.  The new episode opens with Nedry’s car crash complete with rain and the same model vehicle.  And the eaty parts.  Apparently despite living in a dinosaur world, the heavily armed guards were quite surprised to hear rustling in the bushes and a monster swooping down to kill them.  At least, I assume that’s what it did as the scene cut to Dino World Survival for Dummies: making fire and identifying compass moss.  My only guess is they’re trying to establish survival cred of some kind… to convince the audience that it’s totally reasonable for people to travel back in time and not die immediately.

Except it IS totally reasonable since you’re sending them back with INSANELY ADVANCED TECHOLOGY OF THE FUTURE. So long as you keep both hands and feet inside the really tall fence, of course you’ll live.  And if you want to go outside the fence, well it’s survival of the fastest.

Later that night we have the first downside to life in a prehistoric time period: your cuddly sessions get interrupted by shrieking pterodactyls.

Second advantage: your wife may run into an old buddy from University the next day at work.  Who clearly likes her because she is both Female and a Main Character.  It’s a special pheremone they exude–which is why solider boy is in love with Daughter-who-Knows-Everything-Except-How-To-Tell-if-Boy-Likes-Her.

Meanwhile Taylor and Husband run off looking for the crew that crashed and discover the bodies without eyes.  Ew.  Wife and Old Flame have to work “late” to figure out what did it leaving Husband to try to cook dinner by himself–at which he sucks.

And Boy who Ran off with Girl and got chased by monsters finds a guitar.  And plays it.  Badly.  Probably because it’s not made very well, but it’s made by a guy who had his legs eaten by a dinosaur so I guess we can cut him some slack.

Later there’s another attempt at sexing, and another shrieking dinosaur.  Funniest buzzkill ever.

Hah, and it turns out the shrieking pterodactyls are what killed the men.

Science Guy wants to set up a field team to observe them so they can figure out how to act around them and Taylor clearly wants to kill them all, right? Because that’s the classic tension between Science and Military.

Oh.  No.  Taylor just wants to keep everyone inside the compound.  Science Guy is still mad.  Though I don’t really understand why–it’s like getting mad at your mother for making the perfectly rational suggestion that you not jump in the lion pit wearing a meat dress.

Boy still wants the guitar–which makes me wonder what stopped him from bringing his own guitar in the first place.  I’m pretty sure he had one.  I know I wouldn’t run off to a new world without my books.

And the Mini-pterodactyls are apparently just as annoyed as sappiness as I am because they attack as soon as Boy starts mooning over the girlfriend he left at home.  And science lover boy from the past has figured out its a species wide migration.  There are MILLIONS coming.  Ha, and they’re coming back to spawn.  They built Terra Nova on their breeding ground.  That’s hilarious, and is a nice mirror to the snuggly-blocking the pterodactyls were doing the first night.  Turnabout is a bitch.

Blah blah blah synthetic pheremone, they lead all the birds away from Terra Nova and Girl Who is Not Old Girlfriend Still in the Future makes a stupid bet under the excuse of giving Boy 60 Terra Nova bucks so he can buy the stupid guitar and assault her ear drums all day long.

OH and Science guy named the Pterodactyls after himself.  You know, because he wants to be the guy interrupting Husband and Doctor Wife from relations.  Did you get that?  Did ya?  Did ya?

Anyway, show is still pretty stupid.


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