Terra Nova: The Episode Interrupted by Baseball, Apparently

Tonight’s Terra Nova episode was interrupted by baseball.  How do I know this?  People found this blog after searching for just that.  I don’t know anything else about it.  Maybe a Stegosaurus ate the St. Louis Cardinals.  I’d watch that.

And again, we begin with Jurassic Park.  You know that weird tool shed like building where Smokes-Cigars man had to go reset all the electronics in the park because he didn’t know how to do a hard restart on the computer?  Yeah.  We went there.  And when a guy who was chasing bugs comes up to the manicured velocripator pen, he runs into a T-Rex.  Which eats him.  Does the man scream and run first?  No.  He stares stupidly up at it like it’s going to give him a treat for finding him.  Peekaboo!  Is every episode going to start with the devouring of someone too stupid too survive?  Cause if that’s your M.O. I don’t see how you’re going to have enough characters to survive a full season.  But if that’s okay with you, then you have my utmost respect.

Aside, remember the TV show Dinosaurs?  Remember how it ended?  The dinosaurs destroyed their environment by killing off one little species–which I guess was some kind of environmental propoganda but I was a kid so what did I know–it ended with a long cold winter setting in.  And anyone who knew any science outside a Fundamentalist Christian Jesus camp knew this was The End.  As in, Extinction.  That was dark.  And awesome.  Are you that awesome Terra Nova?  One can hope.

So again, because these people don’t learn anything from previous episodes, Taylor’s camp sends out a team to “find out why this other group of people has suddenly stopped responding.”  Honestly.  Did these people forget to pick up a guide book in the gift shop?  Humans are not at the top of the food chain.  At all.  Not even a little bit.

So Wife and Taylor (oooh, are the writers bored with one love triangle and trying to instigate another?) head off into the jungle leaving Malcolm and Husband to stand awkwardly side by side.  Taylor and crew get to the Velocriraptor tool shed where the gate is open (but it’s not supposed to be!)  Wife finds strange notes like “This is not a Dream” and “Do not leave the building.”  Apparently they were doing weird research on psychadelics.  Crazy people locked up–umm–why did you open that door?  Have you never recognized a quarantine before?

Anyway, within seconds they find the video journal (aka exposition 101 for the internetless SF worlds) of the guy who got ‘et earlier and he reveals that it’s “pathogens.”  And they’ve all probably been exposed.  Whoops!

Meanwhile, Boy plays guitar with Not-Girlfriend and her housemates.  Guitar sounds a little better, but Not-Girlfriend reveals her musical stupidity by saying ‘you’re good’ to a handful of strummed notes and pensive musing.  Sigh.

Wife and Husband talk via video conference and it’s revealed wife is suffering symptoms.  She can’t remember Zoe!  Oh and Girl had her first date with Solider Boy.  She says she likes cooking because it’s like Chemistry but you get a treat at the end.  She’s embarrassed about how awful her first date was, but honestly I thought it was a cute.  Girl is precious.

Husband has argument with second in command–she says they can’t check out the people cause there’s a quarantine.  So Husband goes to Science Guy (he has his own rover) and they’re going to trek out there together where they will bond over their mutual love for the same woman and decide in the end she is not good enough and together they will dump her to go raise a family of baby pterodactyls in the wilderness.  It’ll be awesome.

So the In-Love-With-Wife Duo arrive at the outpost and discover Wife who doesn’t recognize anyone except Malcolm (see you end up in your past, which means she’ll only remember Malcolm… hahaha… she’s been reset to the beginning of their romantic relationship aka ‘the honeymoon period’).

Not Girlfriend takes Boy to see a bartender who can get people through the gate.  Bartender makes some vague intimations about “secrets.”

Sigh.  Husband goes outside to chase dinos off the power cables forgetting that there are BIGGER DINOSAURS IN THE WORLD.  So something big runs by, he goes back underground but we’re in a different shelter now?  I’m very confused by the geography.  He finds Brady knocked out?  Dead?  I’m guessing Taylor has gone back in time to when he was some kind of uber-scary commando fighting Giant Blue Aliens.  Oh, no.  He’s back in Somalia and he wants to  know who’s running this mind game and who took his wife and kid.  He makes some threats to Husband and then heads back to Terra Nova where he’s going to slit some throats.  Exciting.  On the way back to camp he passes some dinosaurs and his response ‘Cool’.  I love Taylor.

Husband isn’t infected (because he had a cold–duh–why doesn’t anyone get that immediately).  Husband knocks out Science Guy for freaking the ‘eff out over a compy, there goes their spin off series where they solve medical crimes.

Taylor makes it back to camp and prepares to infiltrate.  He really is a bad ass.  Going against and entire compound by himself!  Granted, it’s HIS compound, but he doesn’t know that.

Wife keeps getting distracted by her own fears of inadequacy and forces her to fall in love with her husband again and again.  Although why they keep doing this is beyond me–their relationship isn’t in trouble.  He does give a cute line “What I feel for you is more than just a memory.”  Wife finally gets curious as to WHY he’s fine and he sneezes.  Oh and he’s been eating some root thing.  Oh.  That was the block–not the cold.  Sigh.  I was almost right.

Taylor flips out on a lot of people but his second in command talks him down with talk of Home and stuff.  She has to knock him out though with a sonic gun (

HA!  It was the cold.  Not the animal dung root.  Although really that doesn’t make any sense.  I mean, I get that a cold would prevent the pathogen from taking hold in the unaffected, but how is it going to weed out the already CATATONIC?  Anyway, to prevent us from thinking of anything more complicated than metabolizing oxygen, Husband decides to pass the illness on by kissing.  I really hope that’s what the rest of this episode is: making out with strangers.

No.  They just cut scene to the infirmary.  Damn.  That would’ve been awesome.

And the whole bartender ‘get my girlfriend through’ thing was a whole scheme with Mira–the sixer gang leader.  Turns out Bartender is her inside man–and she’s going to “take advantage” of the fact that Sheriff’s son is now working for Bartender.

Huh?

I know they need an “other” group in order to give some sort of conflict, but my problem is this: the planet is pretty big on its own.  2149 pretty well sucked.  What’s the deal?  There’s no clear motive except to provide strife.  This whole sub plot is ABOMINABLY stupid.  Even if the Sixer group can contact 2149 when there isn’t a fracture, what can they get out of that?  I can kindof understand the power struggles on the 2149 side–you want to get your people through so when you finally head over you’re in charge, but there’s no reason for the people who come over to subscribe to that.  Mira and her crew are through the fracture.  Taylor is actually kindof awesome.  If you don’t like him, go somewhere else.  It just doesn’t make any sense.  And what kind of advantage can you press with the SON of the guy who ISN’T IN CHARGE AT ALL?  Sigh.

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