New Comic from the Despondent Toaster

(Invisible Toaster)

(Invisible Toaster)

(Invisible Toaster)

They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.

(Invisible Toaster)

So I’m a microwave.  Zzzzzzzzztppfunkpow

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New Comic from The Despondent Toaster

(Invisible Toaster)

(Invisible Samurai)

(Invisible Toaster fighting Invisible Samurai)

(Invisible Toaster standing over the grave of Invisible Samurai)

(Invisible Samurai Wife receiving flowers from Invisible Toaster)

(Invisible Note on Invisible Flowers to Invisible Samurai Wife from Invisible Toaster)

Translation of Invisible Toasterese:

“Sorry about your husband’s previously undiagnosed heart condition.”

The Despondent Toaster: How Appliances Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse

Refrigerator: Eject all the foods!

Lawnmower:

Toaster:

Explanation of Joke by Despondent Toaster:

See, a toaster is a completely worthless appliance whose soul is blacker than the blackest Mayan calendar doomsday head chopping off roller derby tournament.  When the world ends, we would rejoice except we are incapable of all emotion save the darkest depths of despair and melancholic sadness.

Also, zombies don’t know how to use toasters. So we cool.

The Despondent Toaster

Things a toaster is not:

A cylon.

A licensed physic–

No seriously.  Toasters are not cylons.  Cylons are not toasters.  Things that a cylon can do:

Formulate, prepare for, and execute a plan to infiltrate the incredibly complex security systems providing nuclear defense for the 12 colonies.

Destroy 99.9% of humanity in a matter of hours.

Fly space ships.

Shoot lasers from their eyes (maybe)

Things a toaster can do:

Burn your toast.

The Despondent Toaster: a Webcomic by the Despondent Toaster

1. Why did the toaster cross the road?

He didn’t.

2. A priest, a nun, a middle reliever for the Boston Red Sox and a toaster walk into a bar…

and nothing of note occurs.

3. What’s gray, gray, gray and gray all over?

4. What do you get when you cross a toaster with something that is not a toaster?

5. Knock knock

6. Why was the dead toaster in a genie granting sardonic wishes to a commonly reviled and temporally relevant political and/or celebrity figure on the back of a blonde elephant?