They say imitation is the highest form of flattery.
So I’m a microwave. Zzzzzzzzztppfunkpow
Translation of Invisible Toasterese:
“Sorry about your husband’s previously undiagnosed heart condition.”
Refrigerator: Eject all the foods!
See, a toaster is a completely worthless appliance whose soul is blacker than the blackest Mayan calendar doomsday head chopping off roller derby tournament. When the world ends, we would rejoice except we are incapable of all emotion save the darkest depths of despair and melancholic sadness.
Also, zombies don’t know how to use toasters. So we cool.
Things a toaster is not:
No seriously. Toasters are not cylons. Cylons are not toasters. Things that a cylon can do:
Formulate, prepare for, and execute a plan to infiltrate the incredibly complex security systems providing nuclear defense for the 12 colonies.
Destroy 99.9% of humanity in a matter of hours.
Burn your toast.
1. Why did the toaster cross the road?
2. A priest, a nun, a middle reliever for the Boston Red Sox and a toaster walk into a bar…
3. What’s gray, gray, gray and gray all over?
4. What do you get when you cross a toaster with something that is not a toaster?
5. Knock knock
6. Why was the dead toaster in a genie granting sardonic wishes to a commonly reviled and temporally relevant political and/or celebrity figure on the back of a blonde elephant?