Overlord Seeking Human
Generous Overload with access to food and alcohol rations seeks young, attractive human female for companionship AND MORE. Must be at least 5’7″ and not prone to panic attacks. Must not have been a member of Earth for Earthlings in the past 12 months. Rigorous background check required. Looking forward to meeting you!
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Human Seeking Human
Female human seeking human companionship. Non-stupid, non-ugly, non-alien.
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Human Seeking Alien
Human male with no history of subversive behavior seeks alien “friend” (emphasis on quotation marks) with spare room in his/her/its spaceship seriously anywhere that is not my mother’s basement for the love of galaxies I will bake you cookies FRESH BAKED COOKIES!
after ever after 
I would like a telepathic robot companion. Or am I in the wrong apocalypse again?