Exit Interview with Admiral Kaplanalalalalalalalalax

Is it true that you are leaving?

Yes.  We plan to withdraw 200,000 of our kind within the next 24 hours.

Aren’t there only 150,000 of you here now?

Yes.  We plan on bringing in another 50,000–let them mill around a bit, and then we’ll all leave together. 

And then you’ll all be gone?

Yes.  Well, most of us.  I imagine a few will like to stay–gotta see how Lost ends afterall.

Lost is over.

We have been watching it on Netflix.

We can send you with some DVDs.

Yeah but what’s the fun in that?  Then there’s BSG, TNG, BTVS, S60, WW, 3RFTS, DW, E, F, GHIQKRLSJJKFSJJFLSDL…

Is that why you came here in the first place?  To watch our TV shows?


Wouldn’t it have been easier to grab the signal from… I don’t know.  Space?

Yes.  That would have been easier.

Then why…


Any favorite moments from the occupation?

Disneyworld.  The Lincoln bedroom. White House Egg hunt for Skreekagog eggs, many of which hatched unexpectedly during the festivities.  The sounds of children screaming in terror is my new ringtone.

Speaking of, past residents of the White House have chosen to redecorate many of the rooms in order to ‘leave their mark’.  Did you or your… fellow occupants complete any renovation projects during your stay?

Well, I don’t mean to brag… but there were 35 bathrooms when we entered.

And now?


Supertoilets take up a lot of space.


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